What Asia can teach us about courtesy and respect.

In a few days, the Lunar New Year will be celebrated all over Asia as we welcome in the Year of the Pig. It will be an occasion for Chinese people to unite with their families and close friends in the spirit of togetherness, when good memories of the past year will be evoked and shared. I admire the Chinese for upholding their traditions, particularly as I feel that many of the traditions in the West have been distorted, devalued or simply forgotten.

We seem to have lost the art of ritual, neglected basic good manners and, as a consequence, succumbed to pure individualism at the expense of a true sense of community with others. Don’t get me wrong. We all enjoy receiving credit and financial recognition for something we have achieved as individuals, but true self-happiness and self-worth more often derive from helping someone else in time of need, feeling you have done the right thing, treating others like you would like to be treated yourself and sharing in the success of a group achievement.

In a recent survey, sixty per cent of executives claimed there had been a decline in business courtesy compared to 10 years earlier. Most of the reasons given for the decline in business politeness were

Many westerners I meet in Asia express the view that we need to relearn the basics of good manners and focus more effort on extending courtesy and respect to others. In this way, we can learn a lot from our Asian hosts.

Mencius, the Chinese philosopher, (372-289 B.C.) asserted that in all of us there is the innate goodness of four human traits: the heart of mercy, the sense of shame, the sense of courtesy and respect, and the sense of right and wrong. However, the individual’s core values become tainted by society and, in particular, by the environment. This explains some of the many paradoxes of courtesy and respect, with a few examples below:

UItimately the West is increasingly a Doing-orientated culture while Asia is a Being-orientated culture, where building affiliation, trust, rapport and relationships is a key condition for an effective and efficient focus on objectives and tasks. Courtesy and respect are key foundations.

T he ever-expanding “Slow Movement”, founded in Italy suggests we seize control of time rather than being dictated by it and find a balance between using time saving technology and taking the time to enjoy simple pleasures in life such as taking a walk or a meal with others. The same principles would apply to a newly formed “Polite Movement”, which would allow time for good manners and respect to others. As Samuel Johnson, the 18 th century English poet and writer said,

“Politeness is one of those advantages which we never
estimate rightly but by the inconvenience of its loss”

May we all find time in the Year of the Pig to show more courtesy and respect!

Wishing you all a very Happy Chinese New Year! Gong Ci Fa Cai!